Uncertainty &Courage

We’re not really designed to live with uncertainty, it’s uncomfortable and undermines a story of ourselves being competent and in control. Our minds and nervous systems are wired to scan for threats and to try to find ways to gain stability. We grasp at thoughts and things to relieve discomfort and fear.

As hard as we try to build lives protected from shocks and wobbles, life inevitably brings change and uncontrollable unknowns. Change is, as the Buddha said, the only constant in this life.

And creating rigid ideas about how things should be can lead to all kinds of stress. It can distract us from the real life challenges present in the moment that we find ourselves in. The reality of no certainty - just us and life, here in this uncomfortable moment.

So how to live and move through life’s mix of domesticity and changeability with as much calm and trust as possible?

It’s an ever-evolving challenge in my experience.

In my times of deep not-knowing, I’m humbled to learn that I’ll never arrive at an ultimate goal or destination. I struggle with the truth that I can’t control the mad horror show of war, disconnection and inhumanity that plays out among human beings.

Internally I try to surrender the habits of othering, abuse, abandonment and conflict. I try to do as little harm as possible, within my awareness and capacity.

I realise that I’m seeking the experience of sanctuary, peace, calm and love. Not necessarily a physical or economic place, but an internal state of being.

And as an empathic sensitive human, I truly want that for all living things.

I do absolutely try to seek sanctuary, peace, calm and love in material things though. And I’m hugely aware of the privilege of a life that offers the possibility of physical safety.

It’s aspirational to think that we could be in a place of peace all the time while living in a world of change and human volatility and violence.

But this doesn’t stop me from trying to find solid ground, trying to understand, and attempting to act in the world in a way that builds sanctuary, peace, calm and love.

Usually, it functions kind of in reverse of my trying - these things find me, and in forms I couldn’t ever plan or design.

That’s the great cosmic joke. My ego-mind-nervous system reaches for what appears solid, definable, stable and reliable. When really, the things that seem elusive are actually the most constant and embracing. The still, quiet voice within; random experiences of compassion; the gift of connection with nature; unexpected beauty and causeless moments of peace.

There are wise teachers who point toward the deeper truths of what appears solid, but actually isn’t, and what appears elusive but is, actually, the thing that catches and carries us through all the changes.

And there’s courage in facing into the reality of not-knowing with an open heart, and the willingness to be in ongoing service to peace.